You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
