She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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