oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
