there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Come see our sink grown plant.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
