Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
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and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
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Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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