Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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