hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
