Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
