so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
