idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
