It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
