the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
