this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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