Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
