It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
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I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
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She's not a foreskin expert like you
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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