Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I got inside last night via doggy door
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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