Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
even my farts smell like vagina
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
