im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
