Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
