im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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