So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
