Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
