i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
