I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
