Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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