Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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