i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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