The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
