i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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