Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
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It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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