He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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