I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
