This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
