the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
