I didn't shave. On purpose
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
