is your mom at the bar?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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