Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
