Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
