She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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