I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize