and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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