mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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