yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
