i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
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next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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