I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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