your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
