Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
don't judge my taste in strippers
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
