no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
