we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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