sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
