Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
