yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
