I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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