You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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