I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
