Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
