I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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