Me too!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
