5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
