I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
