Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
