1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
